Where's My Flying Car?
by GIRL IN STORY
Summary: "I bet the future's pretty disappointing, huh? There aren't even any jetpacks," Tony joked, even though he was basically a walking jetpack. One shot. No pairings. Spoilers for CACW.


I don't think the thing about gyros is true, and I guarantee the thing about jetpacks isn't, but this is story about supersoldiers playing _Angry Birds_ , so if you're looking for realism, you've come to the wrong place.

If you like this, please consider checking out my original work. The link is on my profile page, since this site won't allow external links.

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"I bet the future's pretty disappointing, huh? There aren't even any jetpacks," Tony joked, even though he was basically a walking jetpack.

"That part was kind of a relief," said Bucky. "We had jetpacks in the 40s."

Steve nodded. "The Himmelstürmer. You think Nazis are bad. Wait till you see them fly."

Tony frowned. That seemed like something he would have known about. Or a prank. Except, as far as he could tell, Hydra had taken Bucky's sense of humor. It was the one thing Dr. Strange's therapy hadn't been able to recover. Well, that and the last seventy years of Bucky's life. And a good night's sleep. And the arm, but Tony was working on a new one.

They'd reached an uneasy truce since Bucky's defrosting. Tony couldn't really forgive Bucky for killing his parents, but that was in part because he knew he couldn't really blame Bucky either. He'd been able to see that as soon as he'd stopped seeing red. It hadn't helped that the red he'd seen were all the warning lights going off in his suit, but he figured they were eye for an eye. Or arc reactor for an arm. Whatever.

Tony was drinking even more than usual, and taking measurements on Bucky's arm had been awkward at best, but both men were trying. Of course, being men, they had never actually discussed any of this, but they'd stopped actively trying to kill each other. So that was progress.

Tony shook his head and made a mental note to check Snopes later. "I bet you're upset about the moon colonies, though."

Bucky looked at Steve, but Steve just shrugged. "What moon colonies?"

"Stop teasing them," said Pepper. "They both slept through the sixties. They were never promised flying cars and hoverboards. Neither were we for that matter. We were promised a cyberpunk future with a dystopian totalitarian dictator."

"Yeah, but the future actually came through on that one. I'm still waiting on my flying car."

Pepper had come home three weeks ago, and Tony was eternally grateful. He was ready to worship at her feet and give her whatever she asked for. Unless she asked him to stop teasing Captain America.

Pepper sighed. "You have a flying car, Tony. You made it last week after your third Old Fashioned. Before you say it, you also have self-lacing shoes, laser guns, and a robot butler."

"Okay, fine," said Tony, "but what about meals in pill form?"

"I've seen you with a cheeseburger. You wouldn't want meals in pill form."

"That was one time, and it doesn't count. I had just been held captive for three months. Do you know what they fed me? It wasn't cheeseburgers."

The question had been rhetorical, but Bucky answered anyway. "Bread and water."

Tony broke the awkward silence that followed by saying, "It wasn't even good bread. I tried to order gyros, but apparently they call them schwarma over there. If only I'd known about schwarma. Or had a meal in pill form."

"I like the future the way it is," said Bucky. "Steve taught me how to play _Angry Birds_."

"Oh, you poor, innocent child of simple times." Tony clapped a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Allow me to introduce you to _Grand Theft Auto_."

"Why?" asked Bucky. "Do the cars fly?"

"No, but you get to steal them."

Bucky shrugged his only shoulder. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes. I've got a lot of practice stealing cars. I'm going to beat you."

"Oh, you're on."

"Play nice, boys." Steve sounded worried.

Bucky heard it too. His face went completely blank, almost like when he was the Winter Soldier. Tony would have to remember never to challenge him to a game of poker.

Bucky's trigger words didn't trigger him anymore. "Place nice, boys," sure as hell shouldn't, but Steve was reaching a hand out like he thought he would either have to hug or hit his best friend.

Face still blank, Bucky said, "Don't we always?"

Huh. So Hydra hadn't stolen his sense of humor after all.


End file.
